motherhood is a calling...

In the past {almost} 12 months... Matt and I have grown to know life with a baby. It is not just the two of us anymore, doing what we want at the drop of a hat, but the three of us {4 including our RB} that are facing each of our days. While I am extremely blessed to mother our sweet boy and to be able to stay home with him throughout the work week, some days are extremely hard. If you know me, you know that I am was a very detailed, planned out person. I have an agenda throughout my days and am motivated to accomplish a bazillion things. Not necessarily big tasks but I am a detail person, so the small things are important to me too. Once I became a mama, I quickly realized that I was no longer on my own schedule. My boss is now a tiny human that can only tell me what to do with his cries. I soon came to know how incredibly selfish my heart really is as well as where my priorities lie...

I once read an article on the John Piper blog that was an extremely well written article telling parents to lay down their lives for their children. We are called to it, it is Biblical and a privilege. A privilege? Yes, a privilege. What I didn't realize is how apparent your sin becomes when your love is being demanded of 24 hours a day. I would like to think that I have loved Matt just like this too but if I don't "feel like" loving him well, he will be okay and move forward alone taking care of himself, so I am not always held accountable to this. When you have no choice but to love a baby because they NEED you and can't live without you, it becomes apparent that I am begrudgingly changing that 5th poopy diaper of the day, sitting on the floor to play blocks over and over while my house remains a disaster, and getting up at the crack of dawn when I go to bed way too late. It would be a lie to say that I do all these things willingly and with a joyous heart. A lot of the time, I do, but most definitely not every time.

And that's just the plain truth... We oftentimes look at social media and believe that every mother is Supermom except for ourselves. We can see into the "perfect" lives of others... And continually feel like a failure in our own lives. Mamas, do your friends a favor and don't clean up your house before they come over, admit to them that you haven't washed your hair in three days and that today's stretchy pants were also last night's pajamas, encourage new moms instead of telling them "oh you just wait", and don't measure your daily success by how much laundry you have done. 

Just love your children and husbands well. This is a season and soon enough, we will have time to take regular showers and our dishes will go back to being constantly done. Invest in what is most important and take a breath. 

With all of that said, Jack is the sweetest blessing I could ever ask for and I would not change a thing. I don't want to sound negative, just want to be real. Thank you to all of my sweet friends that have been so supportive of me as a mother... This last year has been incredible.

John Piper article: http://www.desiringgod.org/blog/posts/motherhood-is-a-calling-and-where-your-children-rank