Do you ever find yourself thinking "if I just had {fill in blank}, I would be happier" or "if we were in this {fill in blank} situation, I would be happier"...?
Well, I for one, can admit that I think this way often and I was getting to a point to where I was completely exhausted from it. For those of you who don't know our living situation, we live within Seattle city limits in a neighborhood called Ballard. Ballard is a very eclectic, tucked away tiny pocket of Seattle lying on the banks of Puget Sound. The water is just outside our front door step along with many fun restaurants, boutique stores, and coffee shops galore. It is a very sought after neighborhood. Therefore, the cost of living is NOT cheap. In Charleston, Matt and I were living in a 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom house with a fenced in yard on a pretty decent sized piece of land for much less than what we pay now. And what we pay for now gets us approximately 1000 sqft, 2 bedrooms, and 1 bathroom (and loud neighbors). When we moved back to Seattle from Charleston, we decided to rent an apartment for one year in Seattle since we missed it so much. We had just spent 15 months in the suburbs and were ready for some city living again. Buuuut...the kicker is is that we returned to Seattle with a tiny human and a dog. It wasn't just the two of us anymore.
So, that brings me to today. Our lease ends in just one month and you wouldn't believe the amount of time we spend talking about what we are going to do next. We aren't ready to purchase a home for many reasons. Primarily, because we can't truly afford anything here yet. So, what's left? My list for the perfect living situation goes on and on...and on and on. My point being that I'm realizing I'm completely insatiable! So, I have been praying A LOT and my heart has been opened to the eye opening fact that I am beyond blessed in this tiny apartment that we live in. Someday, we will most likely be living in a house in Montana that we own with multiple munchkins running around. While this thought makes me extremely happy, I know that I will be standing in my kitchen that's four times the size of my current kitchen missing this tiny apartment. Once I stopped focusing on all of the things that I didn't have, I started appreciating the fact that we can walk 5 minutes down the street to about 40 different restaurants, we can take an after dinner walk to the OCEAN, we have large closets and bedrooms for an apartment, our dog is lazy and therefore, doesn't need a giant yard, and I feel safe beyond measure here...never having to go to sleep at night thinking about the possibility that someone can climb into my child's window and steal him. Yes...this is a real fear of mine. Sad to say.
Basically, all this to say that I think society so easily plants insatiable desires in our hearts and it just leaves us wanting more. My always content husband has challenged me to check out my heart condition in this instance. It's not about what I have and don't have, it's about my heart and thinking that material items or certain situations will cause me to be content. No, they won't. I could probably own a large home with a yard, fence, and bedrooms and bathrooms galore but then I would most likely just complain about the fact that I don't have a cleaning lady and someone to mow my lawn. Unless we lived in Montana, then I would definitely recruit our families to help with that. Fair warning, family.
So...today I am choosing to be grateful. I love my tiny apartment and it's safety and easy upkeep. I love Seattle and all that it brings to this season of our life. It's probably not forever so I am choosing to enjoy the beauty, enjoy the variety, and enjoy the rain. Yep, you heard me right. I will indulge in my coffee drinking, stretchy pants, and Hunter boots wearing days with my boy. I will enjoy just Jack and I in this place while daddy is at work. It won't be just us three forever and this is a special time.
God has blessed me with more than I could ever imagine. Our lives are so full. I would challenge you to think about what you are blessed with today! And pray for me in my insatiable-ness? {is that a word? :)}
